Television-based SCP Compilation #1 from Eastside Show SCP

Item #: SCP-1733 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: The DVR containing SCP-1733 is to be kept in a secure video archive at Site-██. Playback of SCP-1733 is strictly forbidden unless required for research. Personnel must contact Dr. Geller for permission to study SCP-1733. Description: SCP-1733 is a digital recording of the 2010-2011 NBA season opening game played at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts on 10/26/2010 between the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. Agents monitoring social networking sites were alerted to SCP-1733 when Boston native █████ ██████ complained in a Facebook thread on 10/27 about a technical foul in the third quarter involving players Ray Allen and Chris Bosh that never occurred in the original broadcast. When confronted, █████ ██████ uploaded the relevant segment much to the confusion of his derogators. Foundation agents embedded in Facebook’s moderator team deleted the thread and procured the IP addresses of all individuals present at the chat at this time to locate and administer Class-A amnesiacs.

The Motorola brand DVR containing SCP-1733 was recovered for study. Study of the footage has since revealed the nature of the recording’s anomalous properties. Although initially diverging from the original broadcast only negligibly, such as quarter point totals and occurrences of fouls, SCP-1733 has begun to markedly digress from the content of its earlier playbacks. Recorded entities have been observed to retain memory of previous playings, and as such have developed a burgeoning awareness of their existence. It is hypothesized that playbacks impart an unquantifiable measure of cognizance to the entities inhabiting SCP-1733, with consecutive playings greatly expanding recall of previous events. This effect is cumulative and extends to all persons in the arena. Quality of awareness has progressed from reported feelings of intense déjà vu by commentator personalities Mike & Tommy to a near-eidetic memory of preceding playbacks. However, to note, no entities inside SCP-1733 have ever addressed the viewer directly, or shown awareness that they reside in a digital recording. The individuals in the recording are virtually indistinguishable from their real life counterparts in talent, behavior, and mannerisms on court.

Fans in the crowd also appear to be real human beings in all respects, and Foundation inquiries into the current status of these persons has found nothing of note. For all intents and purposes, recorded entities appear to be the actual individuals but somehow abiding in a digital medium. TD Garden records have put the number of people in attendance on 10/26/2010 at ██████. It was initially thought the purpose of SCP-1733 was to depict an infinite number of game outcomes, since players were able to modify offensive and defensive strategies during every playback. By playback 034, players and coaches became so keenly adapted to the opposing team’s playbook that the score remained 0-0 until in the first quarter.

As quality of recall was still weak in early stage iterations, memory of preceding playbacks likely manifested as a vague intuition felt by players, fans, and team personnel alike, interfering with their ability to grasp the full scope of their situation. By playback 045, however, comprehension of their predicament had reached such a point that players declined to play altogether and assembled with the rest of those in attendance to formulate possible escape plans. It is the conclusion of Foundation researchers that the inhabitants of SCP-1733 are imprisoned in the setting of the recording, as they have been unable to exit by any means.

Doors leading out of the arena have not yielded to an estimated force in excess of █████ N. The assembly has also been unable to exit from locker rooms, player facilities, and skyboxes. Waiting for patrons arriving in at scripted points prior to the start of the first quarter has also been unsuccessful: individuals leave by where patrons entered and are then unable to navigate an escape from the adjacent corridors that girdle the main arena. Escape attempts have since grown more desperate, and have included failed attempts at constructing makeshift explosives, all-out rioting, the fracturing of the assembly into three opposing factions, and by playback ███ the ritualistic murder and disembowelment of players in the hopes of appeasing whatever it is that confines them (see Timeline Document 001 for details). However, upon the beginning of a new playback, all persons are returned to their pre-game status unharmed. Researchers have been unable to duplicate the effects of SCP-1733 with other recordings made by the DVR, confirming the device is not the source of SCP-1733’s aberrant properties. Due to the distress visited upon inhabitants of SCP-1733, testing has been suspended indefinitely.

Playback Notable Developments Playback 002 First recorded deviation from recorded broadcast. TD Garden crowd boos the Miami Heat during entrance. Miami Heat forward LeBron James observed to have scowled and shaken his head dismissively at the crowd. Playback 015 Score remains 0-0 for eight consecutive possessions. Fans appear noticeably subdued when displayed on the facility’s HD scoreboard screen. Celtics power forward Glen Davis is able to execute a crucial block late in the fourth quarter on LeBron James he could not complete during the original broadcast, securing the Celtics lead.

Commentators note Glen Davis’s dedication to performing well on both the sides of the court in spite of the “Big Three’s blistering ball movement on offensive plays”. A nascent awareness of previously played games has begun to form. Playback 026 First Miami Heat victory, 112-85. Crowd becomes aggressive, shouting obscenities and hurling foodstuffs at the Celtics. Color commentator Tom Heinsohn understood the frustration, criticizing the Celtics coaching staff for becoming so complacent after having “cracked the code of the Miami Heat offense”. As this was the first game together for the Miami “Big Three”, it is unlikely any coaching personnel would have become so adjusted to an unfamiliar offense in a single game. Playback 027 Commentators Mike & Tommy note a feeling of déjà vu during the Heat’s grandiose entrance. Crowd remains subdued during key Celtics plays. Celtics emerge the victors, prompting Tom Heinsohn to remark “the Celtics have come a long way winning back the hearts of their fans”. When asked to elaborate by Mike Gorman, Heinsohn could only respond that he felt the team had an embarrassment to atone for, but could not specify further.

Playback 044 Teams emerge disoriented and confused. Game is suspended. Majority of time is spent by medical professionals assessing the mental state of players, who remain convinced they had dreamt playing the season opener frequently the previous night. When informed of the situation by team staff, commentators Mike & Tommy affirm the same feeling. Crowd is also afflicted. Recording ends with court-side correspondents interviewing members of the crowd on the nature of their dreams. Playback 045 Players refuse to play. Cameramen, facility personnel, players, commentators, and crowd members gather in the court to appraise the situation.

All persons are convinced they are reliving the same game repeatedly. Doors are tested but cannot be budged. Recording closes as crowd begins to fashion makeshift weapons to pry open doors. Last instance of camera being manipulated by the camera crew. All following playbacks seen through a single static shot of a broadcast view camera. Playback 051 No attempts to exit the building have succeeded. All exits in the arena and adjacent areas remain sealed. A physical altercation in balcony section 318 between an inebriated group of college-aged males and one older male leaves the older male concussed on the floor and unconscious. As broadcast camera is unable to pick up audible voices on opposite side of the arena, presumably the dispute occurred over the group of males not assisting with escape plans.

First recorded violent incident. Playback 052 The man knocked unconscious in previous playback is returned to previous state unharmed upon the beginning of current recording. The man ambushes and bludgeons one of his attackers to death at mark. Playback 055 Cognitization has progressed to such a point that the crowd is now able to remember the events of that week, as well as friends and family members outside the facility. Attempts to contact outside for help are met with failure. Playback 065 Crowd is unable to exit the facility. Congregation has since dissolved into the following groups and “factions”: players, coaches, and all involved team personnel have presumably barricaded themselves in off-screen player facilities. The infirm and parents accompanied by their children have retreated to northeast corner of balcony rise and have elected to wait out playbacks as they occur, marking their territory with a Celtics championship flag draped over Section 320. ██ individuals henceforth referred to as the “Faithkeepers” have proselytized to multiple gatherings that they believe being confined to the TD Garden is a punishment for rampant consumerism of the post-industrial world, and have burned “offerings” of mobile phones, car keys, handbags, and wallets in center court for the past four playbacks.

The group comprises Boston churchgoers and [REDACTED]. A notable portion of adults numbering approximately ████ individuals, however, remain diligent in formulating escape plans. Playback 073 The “Faithkeepers” grow in number after previous playback incident, where three males were severely injured by an improvised explosive fastened to an exit door. No damage to the door is visible. Playback 095 Hedonistic displays of sex and violence have sufficiently curbed the efforts of proselytizers. Makeshift curtains are hung around the site of an orgy at loge 8 at the urging of Section 320 members. Playback 112 Conditions have deteriorated considerably. ██ individuals leapt from balcony section in opening ten minutes of playback 112. Playback ███ Faithkeepers storm player facilities to retrieve Paul Pierce and LeBron James. The players are ritually sacrificed and their bodies are subsequently displayed on the arena’s “Jumbo-tron”. The murder of players seems to have no effect on the recording.

Playback ███ Proselytizers have begun to call for the sacrifice of children. Adults have formed a wall between Group 320 and the Faithkeepers. Playback ███ First recorded deviation in arena light to a deep red color. [DATA EXPUNGED]. Item #: SCP-1592 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: All possible broadcasts of SCP-1592 are to be intercepted and blocked from public viewing. Intercepted broadcasts are to be stored in Site ██’s video archive. Any civilians physically altered by SCP-1592’s effects are to be brought into containment immediately and any witnesses to these alterations dosed with Class-A amnesiacs. Viewing of SCP-1592 must be authorized by at least three (3) personnel with Level 3 access clearance. SCP-1592 may only be shown to D-Class personnel. Description: SCP-1592 is a television program entitled ‘Paradise Television’ which has demonstrated the capability to cause mental and physical abnormalities. It has the general format of a televangelist program, but discusses values and concepts unusual for such a program.

The host of SCP-1592 is a middle-aged Caucasian male who refers to himself as ‘Pastor Harris’. SCP-1592 consists of an as-of-yet unknown number of fifteen (15) minute broadcasts, all of which show ‘Pastor Harris’ sitting on an armchair, looking directly at the camera while delivering a sermon. When an individual watches a broadcast of SCP-1592, they will become interested in the values and concepts it discusses, regardless of previous religious or moral orientations. Further viewing of SCP-1592 will result in the individual gradually becoming obsessed with SCP-1592, and neglecting other social obligations in order to continue viewing it. Affected individuals will often record broadcasts of SCP-1592 and watch them multiple times.

After the affected individual has viewed a number of broadcasts ranging from twenty (20) to thirty (30), physical alteration will begin. This takes place over a period of one (1) to two (2) weeks. If the victim is stopped from watching SCP-1592 during this period, these alterations will cease but any alterations already caused by SCP-1592 will remain. Initial physical alterations include: The growth of additional sensory organs (eyes, noses, etc.) on various parts of the body. Pigment of the skin radically changing in color. Alteration of the vocal cords, preventing normal human speech. Elongation or shortening of the limbs. Fusion of body parts. (fingers, toes, etc.) Growth of non-human extremities. (mandibles, pincers, etc.) Later physical alterations often involve morphing of the body into non-humanoid forms, usually resulting in immobility. It is unknown if the victim is aware at this point, as none have responded to attempts at communication. Interviewer: Dr. █████ Interviewed: D-20122 Forenote: D-20122 had watched twenty-two (22) videos of SCP-1592 broadcasts at the time of the interview. Severe elongation of the left arm and left leg were present. Alterations to the structure of D-20122’s mouth resulted in some difficulty speaking. <Begin Interview> Dr.

█████: Hello, D-20122. D-20122: Hello, doctor. What t…(unintelligible)…what time is it? Dr. █████: It’s five minutes past six. Why? D-20122: Nothing. It’s just th…that, uh, that’s u…usually when we have the tests. You know, where I watch the videos and write them (unintelligible). Write down what they say. Dr. █████: I’m sure that can wait a while longer, D-20122. The tapes aren’t going anywhere. D-20122: No, no, (unintelligible)! I need to see them now so I know what he has to say! Dr. █████: If you just calm down, we can finish this interview and proceed with the tests. How do you feel about your physical alterations? D-20122: Well, I was…I was worried at first, but it’s like what Pastor Harris says on the video, it’s so we share His pain, isn’t it? It still hurts though, when my bones change. Dr. █████: And why are you so interested in what Pastor Harris is saying? D-20122: (unintelligible) I don’t really know what it is about it. It’s just right, you know? Like, it all feels right. Dr. █████: So you are happy with SCP-1592’s effects upon you? D-20122: Very. <End Interview> Closing Statement: D-20122 began final physical alterations one (1) week after this interview.

Sermon Excerpts: The following are transcribed records of SCP-1592 broadcasts by D-Class personnel who were assigned to view them. What is wrong with the generation of today? They don’t understand sacrifice, haven’t felt His gaze on their skin. I hope that my viewers understand sacrifice, I pray to Him for that every night. For you, for your souls. If you have a pet, it will play its part. You will share His hunger in the coming days, and the pet will sacrifice for you.

If you don’t have one to sacrifice and suffer for you, worry not, my children. Worry not, for He will provide! I have a message from a faithful child here, from Jenny in Colorado. She watches His word every night, and the carapace is growing. Jenny writes, ‘Pastor Harris, sometimes I scream from the pain He gives me. I cannot feel my legs.’ Jenny, if I may address you for a moment, what you are feeling is the pain that He too has suffered for us in the black.

You are one of the faithful, Jenny, and so you are worthy to take his image. This pain is simply sacrifice, as He has sacrificed for you. Stay strong, Jenny! I have stood in the ashes of society and walked through the bones of dead planets. Have you seen these things? Has He seen fit to grant you these pleasures? Not yet, but the form is changing. Perhaps you slide along the floor like a slug or drag yourself along the floor as a (indecipherable) Soon His eyes will wrinkle in benevolence at you. In faithfulness, you will find reward. In sanctity, you will find His image. He has many faces and many maws, and they look down on you, judging, waiting, loving.

Goodnight. Item #: SCP-1970 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: Item is located at Storage Site 23, room 3. Although SCP-1970 requires minimal security, it must be isolated from other anomalous objects. Item is to be under constant audio supervision for the purpose of recording its vocalizations, and the item should be visually inspected at least two times daily. Objects classified as SCP-1970-1, 1970-2 and 1970-3 are to be kept in sealed plastic bags in separately locked containers within room 3. Description: SCP-1970 is a television set similar to Zenith Model L092Y. Labels on its back indicate that the device was manufactured in 1979, however the piece was recovered in 1972 from Russel Fouth of Yonkers, NY who had owned the device for at least 4 years according to recovered journals and letters. SCP-1970 was able to function as a normal analog television and can still receive analog signals, although it is no longer capable of displaying an image following test 1970-ae34. Footnote 1: Conducted on March 1st 2009.

Test ae34 required the opening of SCP-1970’s outer casing, which produced distressed vocalizations from members of SCP-1970-1, 2 and 3, all of whom appeared to asphyxiate shortly afterward. Their remains are now stored separately from the item. No mechanical moving parts were discovered within the casing, and the test was aborted before the separately enclosed speaker casing was opened. SCP-1970 does not require any power source and will begin functioning as soon as it is switched on. When turned on an internal light would illuminate a tightly packed group of thousands of humanoid figures pressed against the screen, ranging from 1 to millimeters in height. The skin color of the humanoids were distinctly blue, red or green and they were capable of rapid movement, climbing across each other or disappearing deeper into the item for the purpose of displaying whatever broadcast image SCP-1970 was tuned to receive. A fourth group of white and grey skinned humanoids can occasionally be observed within the speaker housing, and their vocalizations mimic the audio broadcast. The number and designation of these humanoids are as follows: SCP-1970-1: Red, population 1982 SCP-1970-2: Green, population 1973 SCP-1970-3: Blue, population 1979 SCP-1970-4: White to Grey, population unknown The humanoids exhibit individual features and sexual characteristics similar to human beings, but no infant or young examples were recovered after test ae34.

When SCP-1970 was not in operation it was possible to hear movement within the casing, as well as occasional whispers and breathing noises, including snoring. Following test ae34, breathing can still be heard from within the speakers, and an audio broadcast will still be produced if the item is exposed to a proper analog signal. When not in use SCP-1970-4 will often call out in Taiwanese, in an attempt to communicate with the other population groups of SCP-1970, or to vocalize distress at the lack of ambient analog television signals.

Addendum: Russel Fouth was a diagnosed schizophrenic and committed suicide in 1972, although research with exposure to SCP-1970 indicates that his condition was neither triggered nor directly worsened by SCP-1970’s anomalous properties. However, due to his condition he was living alone and unable to convince any family members or caretakers that his television set was “filled with tiny, writhing men.” Item #: SCP-993 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: Any broadcasts of SCP-993 are to be intercepted as detailed in Protocol Upsilon-Beta 3 and blocked from public viewing. All intercepted broadcasts are to be recorded and stored for future viewing. Any subjects used to view SCP-993 must be under the age of ten and are to be dosed with a Class A amnesiac after they have described the episode. Viewing of SCP-993 must be authorized by three (3) Level 4 personnel. Description: SCP-993 is a children’s television program entitled “Bobble the Clown” which first began airing in ██/██/19██. SCP-993 seems to have been made in the style of an educational cartoon, with the primary plot of most episodes being the titular character, Bobble the Clown, learning a new skill or activity.

The program appears to have no supporting cast and the setting of the program often changes between episodes. SCP-993’s anomalous properties become obvious when the program is viewed. Anyone watching aged ten years or older will immediately fall unconscious when the program begins and will remain incapacitated until the end of the program, later reporting a stabbing headache immediately before blacking out. Children under the age of ten viewing SCP-993 later report that it teaches and advocates activities such as cannibalism, murder, torture, [DATA EXPUNGED]. These activities appear to become ingrained in the subject’s mind; repeated exposure to SCP-993 can result in permanent psychotic and schizophrenic symptoms. Episodes of SCP-993 are regularly broadcast from a currently unknown source, but since ██/██/20██, all broadcasts have been successfully intercepted using Protocol Upsilon-Beta 3 and blocked from public viewing. Episode Title Contents ‘Bobble’s Kitchen Surprise’ Setting of episode is a stereotypical small American town. In the episode, Bobble the Clown appears to kidnap one of the town’s citizens and takes him to his home. Once there, Bobble the Clown informs the viewer on how to prepare human flesh for consumption, then proceeds to skin, gut and cook the citizen. ‘Bobble in the Big City’ Setting of episode is a large American city, possibly New York.

In the episode, Bobble the Clown instructs viewers on methods of lighting fires undetected, using resources such as mosquito coils. At the end of the episode, Bobble the Clown sets fire to a large building and leaves. The picture stays on the burning building for a further three minutes before the episode ends. Screams are audible during this time. ‘Bobble’s Sneaky Saturday’ Setting of episode appears to be London, as the Elizabeth Tower housing Big Ben is visible. In the episode, Bobble the Clown silently stalks a woman for most of the episode. When she arrives at her home, Bobble the Clown attacks and kills her with a large butcher knife. At the end of the episode, Bobble the Clown details methods of remaining unseen in crowded places.

‘Bobble Gets the Truth’ Setting of episode appears to be a Prisoner of War camp. In the episode, Bobble the Clown tortures a captured soldier, repeatedly asking him nonsensical questions. The soldier eventually appears to die of his wounds. Bobble the Clown then details to the viewer how to inflict painful, but non-lethal injuries. ‘Bobble Hates You’ Setting of episode appears to be a blank room. Bobble the Clown sits on a chair in the room staring angrily at the viewer for the full thirty minutes of the episode. ‘[EXPLETIVE] YOU [EXPLETIVE] YOU [EXPLETIVE] YOU’ Setting of the episode appears to be Site ██’s video archive, where recordings of SCP-993 are stored.

In the episode, Bobble the Clown angrily details methods of breaching containment for several SCPs. Bobble then details methods to murder researchers involved in its containment, showing detailed knowledge of their daily routines and habits. Notably, what appears to be an animated version of Dr. ████ walks past Bobble halfway through the episode. A clock on the wall shows the time as ██:██ PM. Dr. ████ confirms that he was walking past SCP-993’s archive at the time. Item #: SCP-2030 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: Foundation-operated web analysis bot Delta-09 (“LAUGHSTOP”) is to be kept in constant operation and checked for defects twice a week by a Level-2 staff member familiar with its operation. When functional, the bot will search a wide range of file sharing and video streaming websites for SCP-2030 and remove any manifestations discovered.

Finding and isolating SCP-2030’s point of origin is considered a Delta-Level priority. Efforts to locate the studio where SCP-2030 is filmed are ongoing. Description: SCP-2030 is an anomalous phenomenon that manifests as a television series. The medium through which SCP-2030 manifests changes depending on the most popular format currently in use; as of 2014, SCP-2030 most commonly inserts itself into automated DVD rental kiosks, file sharing websites, and paid on-demand video streaming services. Prior to 2012, SCP-2030 commonly manifested as a DVD set in video rental stores, and as VHS tapes prior to 2003. Thus far, no reliable evidence that SCP-2030 manifestions took place prior to the year 1993 has been discovered; however, thirty-eight (38) seasons of programming are known to exist, implying that SCP-2030 has been active to some degree since 1976.

The series’ title typically appears as Laugh is Fun, although variations on this name, such as Laugh is Life or Laugh is Laugh, are not uncommon. The series has no corresponding “box art”; it mimics art from other television series, often causing viewers to select it mistaking it for another program. The show is a hidden camera comedy series, showcasing the candid responses of various people to bizarre, disturbing, and often anomalous situations. Episodes usually run between 10 and 12 minutes, and feature introductory and closing segments that bookend the hidden camera footage. No episode to date has had an end credit roll. SCP-2030-1 is a (presumably) human adult male that serves as the show’s host, providing introductory and closing commentary as well as appearing to “victims” to reveal that they are being filmed for a television series.

SCP-2030-1 is invariably shown wearing a royal blue three-piece suit with black and white wing tipped shoes. Due to the way in which scenes are filmed, SCP-2030-1 is only seen from the neck down, making identification difficult. He refers to himself as “Laughy McLaugherson”. Individuals appearing on the show often react to the events that they witness with panic or distress, but appear immediately calmed upon the appearance of SCP-2030-1. This is true even when the individual in question has sustained significant bodily harm or witnessed a particularly traumatic event. Additionally, most recorded individuals seem to express some degree of familiarity with SCP-2030-1, with some claiming to be fans of the show. Research into whether SCP-2030 uses its viewership as its victim selection pool is ongoing. Episodes follow a particular theme that each prank segment alludes to. SCP-2030-1 introduces these themes at the beginning of each episode in an as-of-yet unidentified film studio whilst standing atop a bright yellow stage decorated with oversized geometric shapes of various colors.

Episode themes vary from the mundane, such as ‘the beach’, ‘pets’, and ‘candy’, to the strange and violent, such as ‘mail fraud’, ‘arson’, and ‘terrorism’. SCP-2030-1 delivers a similar speech at the end of each program to close out the show. At the end of each episode, the camera pulls back and around from SCP-2030-1’s stage to show the studio audience, which usually comprises the individuals featured in the episode.

During this time, the words ‘Filmed in front of a studio audience. Created in partnership with YWTGTHFT’ are superimposed over the footage in white text. Research into the identities of the people featured in the show’s prank segments has revealed that they are all persons who were officially documented as having died or gone missing in the year they appeared on the program. Thorough investigations into the deaths of SCP-2030 participants have revealed a number of inconsistencies and contradictions in matters concerning the circumstances of the deaths.

Additionally, exhumations of the individuals’ remains have revealed that all recorded participants’ bodies are currently missing. The general consensus among researchers assigned to SCP-2030 is that victims are likely abducted after their use in the show, with their disappearances covered up when possible. However, no concrete evidence connecting the individuals’ deaths with SCP-2030 besides the show’s footage has yet been found. Addendum: The following are examples of pranks featured on the program. Season: 24 (2000) Episode theme: Swelling Individuals involved: Macey Gersham and Kyle Parker – killed by a hit-and-run driver on 09/18/00.

Scene description: An elderly woman sits on a park bench, feeding nearby pigeons with seed from a bag. Gersham and Parker, a couple, walk down a park path and approach the woman. Once the two come within approximately meters of the elderly woman, a swarm of pigeons fly into the elderly woman’s mouth, causing her stomach to become severely engorged and quickly rupture. The couple express great distress at the event until SCP-2030-1 emerges from the elderly woman’s open stomach cavity, at which point Gersham and Parker appear relieved. Season: 21 (1997) Episode theme: Margaret Thatcher Individuals involved: Doris Carter – died of ovarian cancer 02/24/97. Scene description: Mrs. Carter walks into her kitchen and opens a cabinet door, out of which falls a large mass of flesh. As Carter screams, the mass grows and shapes itself into a severely disproportional facsimile of former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Margaret Thatcher, with its head twice as large as its torso. Carter rushes to leave the room, but the Thatcher creature leaps onto her before she can escape. It extends its tongue into the woman’s open mouth, and Thatcher faces of various sizes begin appearing across Carter’s skin.

The faces proceed to recite Thatcher’s April 1986 speech on the bombing of Libya in perfect unison. SCP-2030-1 climbs out of a nearby cupboard and points to the hidden cameras; Mrs. Carter smiles, the creature’s tongue still extended down her throat. Season: 13 (1989) Episode theme: Squirrels Individuals involved: Melissa and Travis Englund – disappeared, last seen 05/12/89. Scene description: Mrs. Englund lies in bed next to a male figure, presumably Mr. Englund. A series of high-pitched squeaking noises are heard, and Mrs. Englund is awakened. She tells her husband to wake up, but he does not respond. She places her hand on his shoulder, but quickly draws it back with a shriek. His skin begins to undulate, as though something is moving underneath. A multitude of squirrels then burst from various places on his body, quickly filling the bed and crawling onto the woman.

She rises to leave the room, but SCP-2030-1 walks in and turns on the light. He is accompanied by Mr. Englund, who has been skinned from head to foot but gives no indication of feeling any discomfort. All three share a laugh and the segment ends. Season: 13 (1989) Episode theme: Tracheotomies Individuals involved: Gary Turman, Lindsay Turman, and their children – died in a vehicular accident on 04/28/89. Scene description: The four sit around a dinner table eating a meal. Mr. Turman begins coughing and gasping for air, as if choking. As the others at the table begin to panic, a pair of slits appear on Turman’s throat, allowing him to breathe. These slits quickly become nostrils, which rapidly grow into a full nose, which in turn becomes an entire second head, identical to Turman’s original.

This second head then sprouts a neck of its own, and the entire process repeats. This continues until eighteen necks and heads have sprouted from the original, at which point SCP-2030-1 steps out from underneath the table. Everyone present erupts into raucous laughter, including all nineteen of Mr. Turman’s heads. Season: 37 (2013) Episode theme: Cephalopods Individuals involved: Rebecca Nash (surgeons unidentified) – died of complications in child delivery on 11/02/13; hospital records show no evidence of anomalous activity during birth. Scene description: A team of obstetricians perform a caesarian section procedure on Ms. Nash, who is in labor. The team comment on the size of the child’s cranium and the amount of hair present on it. Several minutes into the procedure, a doctor makes an exclamation of surprise and drops an instrument on the floor. Muffled vocalizations can be heard in the background. The rest of the staff begin to panic as the head emerges unassisted from Nash, causing her a great deal of pain. The child’s head can be seen to resemble that of American television presenter Ryan Seacrest.

The child sings Row, Row, Row Your Boat in a female voice as it continues to exit the mother. As more of its form emerges, the child can be seen to have the body of a fully grown octopus (Octopus vulgaris). Once the child fully exits Nash’s body, it continues to sing as another head begins to emerge. Three more children are produced in total, with the heads of celebrities Jack Nicholson (American film actor), Johnny Cash (American singer-songwriter), and Martin Freeman (British film actor), respectively, all with similar octopus bodies. Together, the four sing Row Row Row Your Boat in four part harmony. SCP-2030-1 walks into the room and the show’s jingle plays. SCP-2030-1 points to the hidden cameras in the room, prompting the obstetricians and Nash to begin laughing. The creatures on Nash’s torso continue to sing. Nash then loses consciousness, presumably from blood loss. The following is a transcription of a typical speech delivered by SCP-2030-1 during one of the show’s closing segments: Season: 32 (2008) Episode theme: Printers Transcription: Ha! What a ride, eh, folks? We’ve seen printers that eat, eaters that print, and everything in between! Makes you appreciate the old clunker you have back the office, doesn’t it? No, printers may not always work when you want or need them to, but they sure make for some excellent comedy.

And that’s what we’re about here: comedy. We’re here to make you laugh. We hope you laughed. Thank you for laughing with us. That’s what we’re about here, doesn’t it, folks? Come laugh with us again next time! And remember: LAUGH … IS … FUN! Good night! And laugh! And laugh! Just laugh! We love the make laugh. Make more for laughter so as to for laugh. Laugh with us. Laugh with us. (Studio audience joins in unison) Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh with us! Laugh! Laugh! Laugh and let us in! Note: Video cuts off abruptly and a black screen is displayed for thirty seconds.

Laughter and soft, wet noises can be heard in the background before the program ends. Item #: SCP-147 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-147 is to be kept in a simulacrum of a 1950s-era living room. Its current container contains a throw rug, two armchairs, a phonograph, a rotary telephone, and other suitable decorations. SCP-147 will reject any items dating from later than late March, 1965 (See Addendum 0-40). It requires no external power source or connection. Description: Discovered 1983 in a civilian home in Detroit, Michigan. SCP-147 appears to be a 1957 General Electric brand black-and-white television, model 17TO26. SCP-147 has been observed to exhibit two different behaviors: Optimal: When SCP-147 is in an acceptable room, it will display broadcasts of 1950s-era comedies, such as The Burns and Allen Show, Father Knows Best, and I Love Lucy. In every case, each broadcast has been completely unique: archives of the programs, none of which are still being produced, have failed to find any record of the episodes that SCP-147 plays. No commercials are shown, and there is no indication as to which station would be broadcasting these shows. All broadcasts are in black and white.

Subjects exposed to SCP-147 in its optimal state reported a pleasant feeling of relaxation. In this state, the item’s volume and channels can be adjusted, though the off switch appears to have no effect. Hostile: When modern-day items are present in SCP-147’s environment, the item will only display extremely violent and gruesome color footage; beheadings, rapes, executions, and torture have all been observed, but as of yet no footage has been broadcast that indicates when or where the scenes depicted took place.

The footage is invariably of high visual and audio quality. Subjects exposed to SCP-147 in its hostile state almost invariably vomit due to the graphic nature of the broadcasts after ten to fifteen seconds; one subject suffered a nervous breakdown after two minutes of exposure. Every subject has displayed an extreme reluctance to recall the contents of the broadcasts, and two out of the fifteen subjects tasked with viewing SCP-147’s hostile broadcasts have since committed suicide. None of the item’s controls respond during hostile broadcasts. Attempts to examine the internals of SCP-147 have been unsuccessful, as the item’s shell resists any and all attempts to crack it open. Placing the item in a Faraday cage in order to negate any possible transmissions it could be receiving had no effect. The effects of long-term exposure to SCP-147 have not been documented. Addendum: Any and all recreational activities involving SCP-147 are to be scheduled at least one week beforehand with approval by Level 4 personnel. Addendum [0-40]: See File TC-147-B for further details. After [DATA EXPUNGED] suggestion, several objects manufactured throughout the 1960s era were brought in. Objects made past March of the year 1965 have resulted in a hostile behavior. Exact dating is difficult due to troubles of obtaining materials precisely made on testable dates and times.

Reasons as to why it acts in such a way depending on a specific object’s date are unknown, and being tested by [DATA EXPUNGED]. Addendum [0-40a]: As has been verified repeatedly, the presence of persons born after March 1965 does not in and of itself trigger a hostile event. For reasons still unknown, SCP-147 objects mainly to manufactured items. Dr. ████████ ████ recently conducted an experiment in which he clothed himself with vintage (pre-1965) articles of clothing, with the caveat that he had three Bic Flair pens (invented in the 1970s) in his shirt pocket. What he saw while seated in front of SCP-147, he would later describe as “a bizarre episode of I Love Lucy featuring a surprising amount of gunplay.” Addendum [1-80]: Recent tests that involved exposing convicted rapists and psychopaths to the object while it was hostile has indicated that the object is able to tailor the images to the viewer.

A rapist was strapped into a metal chair manufactured in 1986, and during that time not a single rape was shown on the screen, while scenes of genital mutilation (primarily male) occurred more often. Similarly, a psychopath who had tortured someone to death saw fewer scenes of torture, and more scenes of botched executions. Item #: SCP-2835 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2835 is to be permanently contained in its locker at Site-59. As its anomalous effects only surface when a human subject plays SCP-2835 in a VCR, further viewing has been prohibited by the order of Dr. Naismith. Description: SCP-2835 is a VHS video cassette of a previously unreleased episode of The Adventures of Paddy the Pelican, a short-lived WENR-TV cartoon series from the fall of 1950. The episode is titled “Love Me, Do It!” SCP-2835 is longer than the average episode of the show, running for 30 minutes as opposed to five minutes.

Although the plot remains largely the same (Paddy the Pelican searching for his long-lost father), the content of SCP-2835 changes depending on the reaction of the viewer. The title character (referred to as 2835-1) will periodically interact with the viewers and prod them to express their opinion of the cartoon so far, often in a defensive, demanding, and threatening manner. Contrary to earlier episodes of the show, SCP-2835-1 displays characteristics of extreme paranoia and demands constant affirmation. Test Log 2835-D-2239 Viewer: D-2239 <Begin Log> [Redacted for relevance] SCP-2835-1: So Freddy Fox knows who my real father is? Ain’t that a laugh and a half.

Who were you expecting my father to be, █████ ██████████? D-2239: How do you know my name? SCP-2835-1: No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no. We’re not doing this “answer a question with a question” crap. I asked you who you think my real father is. I think I’m entitled to an answer, █████. Do you have any idea how hard I worked on this episode?! D-2239: …Kenny Crow is your dad? SCP-2835-1: Good Christ, are you blind?! Kenny and I are like the same age. I mean, where did you get the idea that he’s my old man? Am I really being that confusing?! D-2239: I’m sorry. SCP-2835-1: You’re sorry? Don’t care! Reap what you sow. Reap it! [SCP-2835-1 begins sobbing hysterically] SCP-2835-1: I’m sorry.

I’m a failure. I don’t know why I even bother with this show anymore. D-2239: Look— SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow, cocksucker! [screen cuts to black, tape ejects] <End Log> Test Log 2835-D-2419 Viewer: D-2419 <Begin Log> [Redacted for relevance] SCP-2835-1: Gee whiz, I sure do love ice cream cones. How about you, ██████? [13 seconds of silence] SCP-2835-1: I’m talking to you, ██████. D-2419: Excuse me? SCP-2835-1: I’m holding an ice cream cone. It looks delicious. Don’t you think it looks delicious? This isn’t hard, ██████. I know you didn’t go to college or anything, but don’t tell me you’re so stupid you don’t know what a good ice cream cone looks like. D-2419: The fuck? SCP-2835-1: Yes, or no? Is this ice cream delicious? God! I put all this work into making this ice cream look tasty, and here you are twiddling your thumbs at me.

Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is?! D-2419: Dude, your cartoon isn’t even that great. A lot of the animation just cycles over itself without any regard for lip syncing. [SCP-2835-1 drops the ice cream] SCP-2835-1: See that? That shit was the last mistake you ever made, you dumb Hoosier fuck. D-2419: Are you gonna get back to the cartoon, or— SCP-2835-1: No! You had your chance to watch my work respectfully, you inbred horse-fucker. Then look what you did? “Daaah, dude, you suck, I could be a better cartoon pelican than you ever could be, I brush my teeth with bacon grease, what’s long division?” I swear to God and all his saints and angels I’m gonna fucking scoop you! Down the throat, right in the acid, everything you hold dear, reap what you sow! D-2419: Fuck you.

SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow, ██████ ███████████. 2499 N. ████ Terrace, ████████, Indiana, █████? Your kids are adorable. Especially ██████. Do they know that their own father fed them to me? D-2419: Wait, there is no way in hell that you knew— SCP-2835-1: Reap what you sow! You deserve it. Everything gets what they deserve. Even the undeserving get what they deserve. But the deserving? The deserving! Oh, yeah. You and everyone you love! Reap what you sow! I am gonna enjoy every second of this, and you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Reap what you sow! Reap what you sow! Reap what you sow! Reap what— [screen cuts to black, tape ejects] <End Log> Addendum: Effective 11/19/16, further viewing of SCP-2835 has been suspended indefinitely by Dr. Naismith ( Note: We can’t take any more chances.

Even if he’s bluffing, it’s specific bluffing, and the implications are, at best, troubling. – Dr. Naismith ). Item #: SCP-1257 Object Class: Safe Special Containment Procedures: All copies of SCP-1257, encompassing all instances of SCP-1257-1, SCP-1257-2, and SCP-1257-3, are to be kept in the secure media vault at Site-██. Any uncontained copies of SCP-1257 are to be recovered or destroyed by MTF Mu-53 (“Ebert’s Thumb”). Because of the nature of the original appearance of SCP-1257, and its widespread exposure to the public, MTF Mu-53 is also tasked to replace any new sources of information about SCP-1257 as they are discovered, in whatever format they may appear, in accordance with Protocol Gamma-1257-A (Codename: “Snopes’ Revenge”) Footnote 1: Information about SCP-1257 is replaced with new information leading to the conclusion that SCP-1257 never existed, and is a hoax. Protocol Gamma-1257-A also requires all original documentation discovered about SCP-1257 be replaced with forged copies omitting references to SCP-1257. Unauthorized persons exposed to copies of SCP-1257, or who evidence any knowledge about SCP-1257, shall be interrogated by the Foundation Intelligence Department, administered Class A Amnesiacs, and have implanted post-hypnotic suggestions to reinforce the belief that SCP-1257 is a hoax.

Footnote 2: As of 5/27/19██ all original participants in the production of SCP-1257 have been found and either treated with amnesiacs or terminated. Study of SCP-1257 is limited to personnel of Level 3 or higher, subject to approval by the Foundation Intelligence Department. Description: SCP-1257 is an American-produced half-hour situation comedy originally titled Raising Danny that aired on the ███ television network for six episodes in 197█. Instances of SCP-1257-1 are the original production reels for all twelve episodes filmed, recovered from the ███ archives in 198█. Instances of SCP-1257-2 are the draft and shooting scripts and copies, including four episodes that were never shot.

Instances of SCP-1257-3 are all other video recordings of the six episodes actually aired. The anomalous properties of SCP-1257 manifest in any and all video copies produced from the original series, and in any copies of the scripts for those episodes. Every year, beginning in mid-September, video recordings and scripts for Raising Danny will change to reflect a new season of episodes. Replacements will begin with episode one, and progress sequentially through each episode in order during each subsequent week. While the Foundation has access to the first sixteen episodes of each season, it appears that each SCP-1257 season runs approximately 24 episodes. Footnote 3: Twelve via video copies (SCP-1257-1) and four only via unproduced scripts (SCP-1257-2). Additionally, while new seasons of SCP-1257 occasionally produce hour-long “specials,” copies are always limited to the first half-hour running time of the original episodes of SCP-1257.

Video copies of the original over-the-air broadcast of the first six episodes of SCP-1257 present a special case. Commercials recorded contemporaneously with SCP-1257 will also show changes consistent with the content of SCP-1257, and updated videos have occasionally shown news bulletins and weather alerts that imply multiple points of divergence between the world that continues to produce SCP-1257 and our own. SCP-1257’s original premise had a black man, named Tyler (played by Whitman Mayo), married to a white woman who already had a son by a prior marriage.

When the woman dies, prior to the pilot episode, the man is left raising her son, named Danny (played by Danny Bonaduce), as his own. Reviews of the original series recovered by the Foundation were universally unfavorable and referred to it as “The unwanted bastard child of Sanford and Son and The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.” Because of the anomalous properties of SCP-1257, the Foundation has only been able to reconstruct a general outline of the original content of the series. Addendum 1: Notes on selected episodes of SCP-1257 observed in Foundation custody. Season 3, Episode 3, “Tyler’s Date”: Episode manifests three months after initial containment. One line in the script implies the assassination of American President Jimmy Carter in late 1978 or early 1979. Season 4, Episode 1, “Bad Touch pt. 2”: Second half of a “special episode” ending season three. Eric, a young classmate of Danny’s, is the target of a sexual predator using what appears to be anomalous items manufactured by Doctor Wondertainment to lure his victims. Season 5, Episode 10, “The Senior Trip”: Episode mentions a scandal where 10 members of the UK House of Commons had been publicly revealed as members of a cult that bears a strong resemblance to the Church of the Broken God.

Season 6, Episode 1, “The Freshmen”: The title of SCP-1257 is changed to Danny. The premise of the series changes as well, dropping the Tyler character and sending Danny to college in New York City with five of his classmates from High School. Footnote 4:Including Eric, despite a three-year age difference. The University Lab appears to have specimens of SCP-███, SCP-███ and SCP-███. Season 6, Episode 11, “The ████████”: Plot of the episode concerns Eric’s suspicions that one of their dormmates might be secretly one of the “████████.” This turns out to be a misunderstanding. From context, the “████████” appear to prey on young women and have become endemic in [REDACTED] and seem to be the result of a containment breach of [REDACTED] in Mexico City. Season 7, Episode 2, “Eric’s Midterm Caper”: When this episode manifested in SCP-1257-3-12, a new advertisement appeared during the second break for Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd.

The ad promoted [REDACTED] services for [REDACTED]. Season 10, Episode 1, “The Job Hunt”: Hour-long “special” introducing another change in premise. Footnote 5: Danny has graduated college, is unemployed, and advertisements shown during SCP-1257-3 instances show that the Eric character has been spun off into his own series. One scene implies that the Global Occult Coalition has become public enough to run “want ads” in the local newspaper. Season 10, Episode 2, “The New Guy”: The show’s title is officially changed to Agent Danny of the SCP. Footnote 6: It is clear from the script that the title the writers intended is actually Agent Danny of the SCP Foundation. However, in the title card and in taped dialog, “Foundation” is consistently omitted. The name does appear correctly in the background sets intended to represent Foundation locations.

Danny has been employed as Level 1 security at Site-19, and through a series of mishaps, prevents a containment breach of SCP-173. Season 10, Episode 5, “D-Class Act”: Danny mis-hears a co-worker’s conversation and becomes convinced he has been mistakenly reassigned to D-Class by the HR Department. Season 10, Episode 11, “Leaping Lizards”: [REDACTED] SCP-682 [REDACTED]. Note: Details of SCP-1257 episodes past Season 10 are only available with the approval of the Intelligence Department..

As found on Youtube